Above: A drunken alien UFO prank on a cornfield in Holland.
Holland—Citing the virtual extinction of alcohol-related deaths on Earth due to extremely effective awareness campaigns, MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) and SETI (Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence) have joined forces in an attempt to bolster awareness of drunken levitation.
MADD representative Maureen Howitzer claims that the drunken exploits of alien UFO's has wreaked havoc on our society for decades, ever since the discovery of our planet by extra-terrestrials more than fifty years ago. These alien overseers have remained largely invisible to humankind, but an increasingly large segment of "party-going troublemakers" has been tipping cows, changing radio stations, and surgically altering yokels.
"It's only a matter of time before someone north of the Mason-Dixon line gets hurt," explains Howitzer.
Extra-Terrestrials were not available for comment.
Photo, courtesy of Metro.co.uk:
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=54522&in_page_id=2