Saturday; July 5, 2008

McCain Dedicated to Helping Citizens Find Their Pills, Slippers

Above: Senator John McCain is outraged to hear how a constituent's pills were removed from next to the toaster oven, where she swears she left them the night before.
Posted to News Satire on 4/10/2008 at 12:56PM EST
John McCain will unveil what he is calling a "Missing Property" plan later Thursday to help Americans deal with the problem of misplaced pills. "I believe a more robust, timely and targeted effort is my Missing Property plan. It offers every deserving American the opportunity to find out who moved their pills. This plan is focused on people; people whose pills and slippers are always being moved. People decide if they need help, they apply for assistance, and if approved, the government under my Missing Property Program supports them in getting to the bottom of the missing articles. There will be qualifications, for example... Read More »

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